THE NUMBER 12

One year ago today, our paperwork was logged in at the CCAA. I can't believe that we have crossed an entire year off the calendar.....The hard part right now is not knowing how many more days will still need to be crossed off. It was very disappointing after the last batch of referrals were sent, as all of us ALWAYS hope for more days.....If only they could have referred a couple more days (I say that EVERY month). Unless you are in the process, you don't realize how important those couple days mean. The CCAA might be so close to referring your LID (or one of your close adoption pals) that you can taste it....Only to miss the cut off by a couple days. Those couple days will then add another month to your wait and so on and so on and so on. I read a comment from Doris on another blog and she said it best......Referral time is bittersweet. We are so happy that referrals are finally arriving and so excited to get a peek at those adorable babies, yet so sad that with each passing month the wait lengthens. Referral day then turns into a sad time for us and that's a shame. But, what can we do but pick ourselves back up, dust ourselves off and hope that things are better the next month. If you lose hope, what's left? I have to have hope.....Hope that we will see Ava's face THIS year....Hope things will eventually speed up. Now that I've dusted myself back off, I'm going to find my happy place again......I can't guarantee that I will always stay there.....But today I'm determined to find it. I think I'm going to celebrate today by taking a trip to the mall.....Hey, I told you that I'm in search of my happy place....That's at least a place to check, right? I think I'll check first at the Coach store and then at Mrs. Fields cookies...............................

Sending a big hug to Melissa because it's also her 1 year LID Anniversary today (and because I miss her).