Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Our Journey to Ava

I have been thinking a lot over the last couple days about pulling the plug on the computer. With the depressing news of a possible longer wait time for Ava's referral, I felt like that would be best. I just felt like I need to get on with my life even if it's a life that Ava is not a part of. Then, I looked around my house I realize Ava is here and she is a part of my life. I'm sitting here drinking my morning coffee with a mug that reads....waiting for my child from China. I have a growing pile of clothing and toys in my closet because I can't resist buying every ladybug item of clothing I come across. I bet Ava is going to get sick of ladybug clothing. I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about the blog and if I should take a step back from it. It was about 4:00 A.M. when it hit me. The name of our blog is Our Journey to Ava. It's all about our
journey and I plan to let Ava read it someday. I want her to know how much her family wanted her and loved her before she was physically here with us. The possible extended wait time for referral and all the other depressing news in the adoption world is still part of the journey. I decided back in July, 2005 to board this roller coaster ride and I'll be damned if I'm going to cover my eyes. I'll continue with the blog and I'm quite certain there will be many ups & downs along the way. Quite certain. I'm sure there will be days that I will want to cry out of frustration because I can't make the CCAA work any faster. I hate not having any control over this but I need to come to terms with it. This journey is going to be filled with good days & bad. I signed on when I boarded the roller coaster. I'm not about to get off now. This is our journey to Ava.

8 Comments:

Blogger Johnny said...

Might I suggest....possibly removing the RQ from your bookmarks for a week and seeing how you feel?

Bad news will trickle through the blogs and yahoo groups anyway. But the rollercoaster that is the RQ....it's like turning off the TV for a week. See if you're better or worse off.

10:30 AM  
Blogger Dawn and Dale said...

Hi Lisa,

Your post is soooo heartfelt and wonderful to read. You made me cry!!

It's true, the rumors can get you crazy and I know it's the not-knowing that is the worst part, but really I do believe that no one knows how long it will be!

I love how you talk about this just all being a part of the "journey". A "Journey" it definately is!!! It's not an easy one and it's not a quick one, by my oh my, what a special one awaits us at the end!!!

2:16 PM  
Blogger tracy said...

I've been following your blog in attempt to live vicariously through others going through the same thing. Thanks for the similar thoughts, I don't feel so crazy now.

6:05 PM  
Blogger Lisa & Jeff said...

Johnny,
Check out my links. It appears that someone seems to be missing. Aren't you proud of me? =)

6:53 PM  
Blogger Shelli said...

I will go awhile without checking the RQ site - once I do, the reality of the seemingly never-ending waits can really hit me hard. When I don't check on the rumors - I am in my happy place.

All we can do is live our lives the best that we can as we wait for our babies. You are so right - all of this is part of the journey.

8:39 PM  
Blogger Doris & Dan said...

Stick around! "Cause no matter what the ride, we are all on this trip together!

Keep smilin!

9:02 AM  
Blogger Made in China said...

I'm so happy that you made the decision to keep journey-ing! I love reading your blog and I love that you always comment on my blog. Trust me, I have hovered over the "delete Blog" button too but I've come to enjoy the blogs I follow and I hope others enjoy mine too. I love to read about referrals and TA's and posts from China because it reminds me that one day I will be posting the same thing too.

10:28 AM  
Blogger Holly said...

We're in the same place, Lisa.
Johnny's right.
Every melt down I have is always preciptated by too much time on RQ.
It's like a damn drug.

We're keeping the faith!

6:21 PM  

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